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....then do
it again, any which way you can.
Milk, milk and milk again.
If a low, or come to that, high budget movie works well -
The Blair Witch
Project worked well
enough in cinemas and on the Internet to win cult status and
then some - then do it again, any which way you can. You'll
scrape by on the original word of mouth and make a
guaranteed 50% or the first film's gross. Not bad.
....just
another teen slasher post Scream....
Hollywood history is dotted
with dud parts deux - the few exeptions include The
Godfather
2 and
Aliens
- and The Book of
Shadows:
Blair Witch 2
(15) has only its
opening minutes to be proud of. From then on it's just
another teen slasher post
Scream
and I Know What You
Did Last Summer.
It's technically competent, but then
Friday the 13th Part
26 was, too.
.....grown
weary of the suffocating media hype.
So back to that nifty
opening. A video camera powls round Burkittsville,
Pennsylvania, the site of the first "project." A small town
besieged by the curious and the nutty, its population has
grown weary of the suffocating media hype. One woman puts on
makeup just to carry out her trash, in case she's caught on
camera. The locals are photographed selling Blair Witch
curios. The commentary is witty and to the point, but from
then on its downhill to the knacker's yard.
The plot has
all the complexity of the Teletubbies.
After a brief outdoors
section, the action is confined to interiors. The plot has
all the complexity of the Teletubbies. Five punters stay out
at a ruined house in the woods. Their camera gear is wrecked
while they sleep and there's a gap of several hours in their
memories and the video tape evidence. The rest of the film
is taken up with the lead character (played by Jeffrey
Donovan), fresh out of mental hospital, checking the dug up
tapes (don't ask) on his editing suite. BW2 is a waste of
the talents of the technical crew and there's barely a
competent performer among the cast.
Terrible.
back to
top
He smokes
topnotch pot, marries young women and has a middle-aged
lover....
Wonder Boys
(15) is the best US
film since A Perfect
Storm, which
admittedly isn't saying much. It's directed by Curtis
Hanson, who made the superlative
LA
Cofidential, so
that's no surprise. What is surprising, though, is the
effective change of tack for Michael Douglas. If it were
possible to call a man "frumpy," then Douglas's Grady Tripp
is frumpy with knobs on.Tripp is a fiftysomethiing English
professor ear deep in a follow-up to his acclaimed first
novel. He smokes topnotch pot, marries young women and has a
middle-aged lover, the wife of the head of the English
department. He's not blocked; quite the opposite. He's on
page 2611.
.....and a
student with an obsession for celebrity suicides.
The film takes Tripp over a
fun-filled weekend as his agent (Robert Downey Jr) turns up
with a transvestite hooker and Tripp's lover (Frances
McDormand) has some surprise news; not to mention blind dogs
and a student with an obsession for celebrity suicides. He
catches the agent's eye, then - oh, hell, see for
yourself.
....one of
those rare performers....
Wonder
Boys is underplayed
all round. Set in Pittsburgh in mid-winter, its central
midlife crisis is full of unpredictable twists. The
characters circle each other and all revolve around Tripp.
Douglas is more restrained and less showy than usual and
Frances McDormand is simply marvellous, one of those rare
performers who make you think acting's so easy you could do
it yourself.
No movie's perfect, and
Wonder
Boys has two flaws.
It starts better than it finishes and it's let down by a
ridiculous extended sequence where Tripp stands out in the
snow with rain gushing down in torrents. The special effects
snow doesn't melt one iota.
....little
going for it except Ms Hurley's bod.
Liz Hurley has been in the
shit for breaking an actors' strike in LA. Her new film
could do with all the publicity it can grab. It's a lame
remake of Bedazzled
(12), a cultish
sixties romp written by Peter Cook for the then number one
sex bomb, Raquel Welch. A variation on the Faust story in
which the devil grants wishes in return for the victim's
soul, it has little going for it except Ms Hurley's bod.
Brendan Fraser looks stupid and embarrassed in various over
the top makekup and costume changes and the story drags like
a fifty ton anvil.
back to
top
At least 3
ex-Presidents are rumoured to be members....
The Skulls (15)
is a strange little
movie about a secret all-male society based in Ivy League -
make that posh - American universities. Apparently, the top
1% of every class is "trapped" into joining. Membership
brings perks of all kinds - financial, female, cars and top
jobs in industry and the professions. Being a Skull even
helps entry into the White House. At least 3 ex-Presidents
are rumoured to be members of such secret societies.
Surprise,
surprise, our hero doesn't like what's going
on....
The film is familiar and
tame, with a story to match. Surprise, surprise, our hero
doesn't like what's going on and sets out to stop the
dastardly hounds. The murder plot is hackneyed and the
characters don't build any sympathy. (The lead is played by
Joshua Jackson from
Dawson's
Creek). Take out the
exciting rowing scenes (sculls, skulls - get it?) and you're
left with a bog standard TV movie with little but
imaginative camerawork to recommend
it.
back to
top
Ever
wondered what an Asshole Centering Monitor is?
Ever wondered what an
Asshole Centering Monitor is? You won't be sure even after
you've seen Clint Eastwood's latest acting/directing stint,
but you'll pick up the odd clue.
Space
Cowboys is one of
those amiable buddy efforts, the difference this time being
that three of the four the leading actors are, well, pretty
much past it. In his mid-fifties, Tommy Lee Jones is the
baby of the group. The others - Clint, Donald Sutherland and
James Garner - have all passed the big seven-o, but that
doesn't stop them having fun, which is what
Space
Cowboys is all
about.
...lightweight,
occasionally embarrassing old-fashioned yarn....
Make no mistake, punk. This
ain't no classic, but it doesn't plumb the previously
unplumbed depths of Mission to Mars, either. Since the
superlative
Unforgiven
in 1992, Clint's films have wobbled all over the place. This
is no exception, but if you enjoy a lightweight,
occasionally embarrassing old-fashioned yarn, then this is
for you. Imagine a cross between
The Right
Stuff and, believe
it or believe it not,
Cocoon.
The story's
no brain mangler.
The story's no brain
mangler. Ikon, a Russian satellite, has suffered a systems
failure that threatens a complete communications blackout
across the country. Ikon has the same guidance system as
Skylab, an early American satellite, so its designer should
be the only one who can prevent catastrophe.
....their
astronauts' dreams were shattered by a monkey....
That means Frank Corvin
(Eastwood) has to come out of retirement, and if he's going
to play ball with NASA then he wants to work with the only
crew he trusts &endash; the three others who made up Team
Daedalus back in the fifties, when their astronauts' dreams
were shattered by a monkey being blasted into space instead
of them.
.....and
Garner is a preacher (?)
For the first hour,
Space Cowboys
is mostly boring,
with endless shots of the team stumbling round the athletics
track and enduring medical tests that NASA firmly believes
will knock them out of the reckoning. Jones plays a pilot
who won't take any risk unless it's a big one, Sutherland is
a ladies' man who's far more interested in getting laid than
working, and Garner is a preacher (?) and robotics expert
who knows how to repair satellites.
....is well
shot and reminiscent of some scenes in Apollo 13
The final section, when the
guys are out in space and not all is going precisely to
NASA's plan, is well shot and reminiscent of some scenes in
Apollo
13.
Space
Cowboys doesn't know
what it wants to be, but it's produced and directed by a guy
in his 70s, so maybe that's to be expected. Harry Callahan
wouldn't be able to sit through the first hour.
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